Monday, January 18, 2010

I'm back!

The trip was amazing and I an opportunity for a lot of reflection, growth, and emotional progress. There were many surprises, not the least of which was my ability to open my heart to the possibility of another relationship. I don't think that this would be possible in a general sense, and by that I mean I have absolutely no interest in "dating" and the like, but I became very close with someone while I was there and very much enjoyed that connection.

There was a motif to the trip, seemingly echoed by everyone around me, and frequently repeated in my mind: The past is the past. Move on.

There were some dicey moments. The first time I went back to Sonsonate, for example, I broke down just from driving the same streets I used to drive with my husband. It was a vivid reminder of how close we came to making our life together work, and it was just all too much.

In the irony of all ironies, during another breakdown (actually two) I was comforted by my husband's ex. I imagine he was rolling over in his grave at that one! While it wasn't the most comfortable experience in the world for me, it was kind of her, and her presence meant that La Hija was getting to spend some time getting to know her brother, which was excellent.

I was not ready to leave, for so many reasons, and I know that Mi Vida Salvadoreña will continue. The plan is to return in July for 2 more weeks. I am saving my pennies already. I need more time there.

I have many stories and will write more soon.