This is not an attempt to scare anyone away from El Salvador. I love that country and the people in it. This is something that could have happened in any major city in any country in the world.
I have taken most of the following from a journal post. This is what happened:
On June 6, 2009, as he was working at his taquirea, my husband was killed. Someone came up behind him as he was preparing food for some customers and shot him seven times. Seven. Once behind the ear, two in the arm, and four in the torso. Seven.
Crime of opportunity, the police assume. His watch was gone, there was no money on him. They made sure to leave his ID, though. Thank God for that. My worst fear was that something would happen to him and no one would ever know.
He was an amazing man. Hard working and loving beyond words. Everything he did, he did for us so we could make our dreams a reality. He knew it was dangerous where he was, but went there anyway because he made good money there and he just needed to make it through until September when the next boat left.
La Hija and I were to head down in August so we could finally have our civil ceremony down there and have both of our governments recognize our marriage... so we could start working on getting him back into the states.
I spoke with him the day he died... I told him I love him, and I am so thankful for that.
Now, I am numb. I try to keep it together for La Hija, but that isn't always possible. Every once in a while, when I realize I will never hear is voice again, never feel his touch, see his smile... when I realize that the one person I could tell anything, the one person I went to when I needed to breathe is no longer there, I feel lost and scared. And then I look at our daughter and see him and realize I need to get it together and take care of her.
I just miss him. I really miss him.
This event in my life, as horrible as it is, will in no way keep me from going back. In fact, I think it may just make me fight that much harder to get there, since it will have to be on my own. I will return to spend time with my family. Perhaps someday I will return and work at one of the private schools. I will return though. That much, I know for a fact.
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13 comments:
My thoughts and prayers for you and your family. No words can express the saddness. Please keep writing as I hope it will help with the healing process.
Corrinne, Seattle,Wa
Once again, I am so sorry. There must be a giant hole in your heart that will never be fully filled. I continue to pray for you and your daughter.
I am sure it is a minute by minute stuggle to move forward at times. Cherish your memories. Miss him. Fight on...fight hard. Be easy on yourself. Continue to be a wonderful mother.
I wish I could offer than just words of encouragement but please know that many others share your sorrow and want you to make it through this difficult time and triumph in life.
So very sorry to read of this tragedy. Some things simply make no sense. You and your daughter are in our prayers - your esposa as well.
Brings tears to my eyes to think of all you and your family are going through right now. Hang in there. You and your daughter are in our prayers.
Thank you for sharing it with us, Amy.
You are in my thoughts. I hope you know that even though we have never met, the concern of all your readers is very real. Keep well, dear friend.
Mis mas sentidas condolencias a usted y su familia.
this is a sad and tragic story.. I am sorry to hear of your loss and your family is in our prayers for healing and strength for you and hija
I came across your blog some time ago and pay a visit every so often. My most sincere condolences for your loss.
IKAROS
Corinne, Cindy, Calypso, LSLS, Lizzy, Kadmiel, and ikaros: Thank you so much. I am trying my hardest to heal, day by day. Some days are better than others. I understand, on some level, that the one thing I have control of in this whole mess are the steps I take for our future. This makes it all a bit easier. Even though I know I won't have my soul made beside me, he will always be in my heart and I can see him so clearly in Nuestra Hija.
Deena, gracias por sus amables palabras y pensamientos. Esta vez es muy difícil, pero el amor y la fe nos ayudará. Lo siento si mi español no es correcto, pero estoy aprendiendo!
I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. I just came across your blog today looking for some inspiration or guidance about moving to El Salvador. My boyfriend lives there and I've been contemplating moving but I am admittedly scared. Hearing your whole story has been inspiring you've gone through a lot in order to be with your family. I hope you hold onto the love that has inspired you and now me. May you find peace and solace in your daughter.
Nenation, thank you so much. I am so glad to hear that what happened to Mi Amor has not scared you off. El Salvador is a wonderful country with wonderful people, and I have nothing but positive things to say about my experiences there. Take your time with your decision and plan it well. There are many adjustments to make, but they are more than doable. I wish you the best of luck!
I am so sorry to read this. I actually cried when I read this. I'd like to note, I am a male, and it's hard for me to cry... but I cried.
I blog too about El Salvador, but I have not had the same experience as you.
I moved to El Salvador when my partner was deported because our marriage was not "legalized". I was really scared of loosing my partner in El Salvador. Luckily we are very young and live with my partners family. It's in a tranquil part of La Paz and crime is rare. Rarely does my partner leave the colonia except to goto the market to work with family.
I am back in the US to make money so we can build a house. It scares me every single day... I worry. I worry alot. But I know the area, and I lived there too, I know there is little risk. Crime happens though, sadly enough.
It's terrible what happened to your husband, and the sad truth is that in El Salvador, anybody who is working or running their own business is at risk. It is rare that people are outright killed however, it's not unheard of and the most common is when they try to defend or fight to protect their belongings.
I feel for you and I will pray for you. I know it's hard to be strong... but you know, despite everything, El Salvador is a place you may want to consider as a home... as hard as it may seem.
Immigration ... I hate them. I do. They tear lives apart. I have been through it. I fought to keep my relationship.
Your a victim of the immigration system. Which needs to change. They should of never sent your husband back if he even remotely feared for his safety.
My partner never "feared" for safety, but also does not own their own business, and does not live in an area where crime is "as" common.
Again... I am truly... touched by your story. I am so sorry... I just... I hate immigration all that much more after reading this.
God bless you and be strong.
VS, Thank you for stopping by and for your kind words. I have tried to hard not to let the continuation of this blog have any negative impact on a reader's view of El Salvador, because I do not think any less of that wonderful country. It is a difficult line to walk, telling the realities of a situation without darkening the image of a place.
I am happy to know about your website. There were so few resources available for people like us who relocated, or plan to relocate, with a spouse. Keep up the good work!
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